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andrewcalo

Shit Bet of the Day

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Here you go boys. 50p brings in thirty grand. Nice little bit of pocket money. It that comes in I'll be laughing lol

p.s. personally I am going to opt for Protektor so if one of the results doesn't come in I'll get my stake back. Safe.

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Edited by andrewcalo

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My reasoning - I know a fella who cleans the shitters in Huddersfield's grounds and he told me that they've taken extra staff on for tonights game so there's obviously something going on there.

Aris Salonki are now 38 games without a win so statistically this cannot go on and they have to win at some point.

Cameroon is a tip I got from a fella who works in the bus station and he is from Ethiopia so he would know.

 

Edited by andrewcalo

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@andrewcalo, you ok mate? :lol

It's starting to feel as if your sanity directly correlates with Swansea's Premier League status. I am concerned that if they do get relegated this season then it could be the end of your mental stability!

P.s. The Cameroon tip-off sounds legit so hopefully that will come in!

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3 hours ago, StevieDay1983 said:

@andrewcalo, you ok mate? :lol

It's starting to feel as if your sanity directly correlates with Swansea's Premier League status. I am concerned that if they do get relegated this season then it could be the end of your mental stability!

P.s. The Cameroon tip-off sounds legit so hopefully that will come in!

YOU CAN LAUGH STEVE, BUT WHO'LL BE LAUGHING WHEN IT COMES GOOD EH?

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lol I thought I had better put a bob or two on this just in case - my bookie would only allow 5 goals in the Huddersfield game and -1 on Cameroon.

Cameroon won 2 nil and half time was 3-1 Huddersfield!!! That was the end result too.

Needless to say, I wasn't laughing.

 

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This weeks shit bet:

Crystal Palace to beat Leicester -3

Word on the street is that keeper Schmeichel was involved in a wanking related incident the weekend in a Czech sex club and has completely fucked his right hand. There are people in Leicester who report to the tabloids so everyone is keeping quiet about it and he's forced to play to avoid the shame of it - he couldn't get an injunction as he was shagging the judges missus. He's also done his groin in.

 

England to beat Lithuania -1.

This one is nailed on.

 

Everton to beat Liverpool.

The docs in Great Ormond St have managed to save Coleman's leg and even better have built him back a new one using bionic tech. 

Expect many goals care of curling volleys from the halfway line and also I heard he can hypnotise people using new psionic powers that were a side effect of the operation so maybe some unexpected red cards against Liverpool and penalties for Everton.

Total odds 23 to 1. Go big but you need to place the bets before last Sunday.

Edited by andrewcalo

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Back unto the breach once more, dear friends...

So this week I have opted for a slightly more unorthodox approach - TO WIT -

Pulled out the old ouija board and dimmed the lightbulb in my one bedroom. Lit a candle, put on Tubular Bells, and reached out beyond the veil ...

Was hoping to get someone like George Best or Diego Maradonna on the line. Unfortunately ended up speaking to Jimmy Hill.  

No matter how I tried to steer the line of questioning, he kept on insisting I contact his brother about some sort of impending car crash he would do well to avoid.

Anyway, that was no good so I shut him off as he was reading out a phone number, although I think I might have botched that too. I keep seeing something pointy poking through the curtains when the light is out. I'm being haunted by Jimmy Hill's chin. NOT funny. 

Second time lucky it wasn't - I ended up with the whole of the Chapecoense Colombian football team trying to get a word in. Not only that but I don't speak Portugese. So I shut that down pretty quick. 

Back on it now and praying for a decent result. Gary Speed popped up earlier and hasn't gone back yet. He's here somewhere, just hanging around...

 

Edited by andrewcalo

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Brighton -2

The boys have been drinking big time the last few nights in celebration and I took the opportunity to slip them some of my special batch of pills when they came knocking in the early hours.

I'd be very surprised if half of them haven't died of a heart attack by now, they most definitely haven't needed to sleep at all. 

Expect them to be running round the pitch like Speedy Gonzalez and with the bad attitude of the Tazmanian Devil. Also value in betting on red cards - they must still have so much blood running to their heads I'd be very surprised if they don't get demoted from the Championship all the violence they are about to commit on poor unsuspecting Norwich.

 

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Wolves to win the World Cup

This bet is not available as yet it is a bit too early, but mark my words as the day is young, the rule changes have already been set up and as soon as Qatar get their stadiums built Wolverhampton Wanderers are all set to replace the Qatar national team on point. Lovely. If you can get the odds now last time I checked it was a whopping 70 to 1!

 

Gary Lineker hat trick for Wolves in the World Cup in his upderpants.

Also great odds on this a massive 110 to 2!

 

 

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i hope your not just guessing these tips calo? without one of these.. the industries tool for the job  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Crystal-Ball-Wooden-Stand-5cm/dp/B00CPRL5DW/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1493541455&sr=8-12&keywords=crystal+ball 41ZSqa-856L._SY450_.jpg

 

4 outa 5 stars on amazon reviews aint bad.. aah those trusty amazon reviews

Edited by MysticMoron

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